How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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