I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
