i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
