I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
