so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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