i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
