Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
