i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
