Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
