I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
