Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize