There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
