apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
