Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
