WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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