My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
