Got a toothbrush?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
