wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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