I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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