Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
