I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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