Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
