I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
