Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Everyone says I win the strip club
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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