hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
