Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
