I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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