Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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