I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
