Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
