What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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