The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
