'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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