if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
