I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
