so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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