Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
