Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
