**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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