Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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