it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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