Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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