Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just googled if crying burns calories
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
