my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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