I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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