We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
