Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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