oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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