It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
