she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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