would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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