Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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